Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Categories into which you cannot put yourself

David Sedaris's charming little piece on undecided voters includes this line: "calling yourself a maverick is a sure sign that you’re not one." My wife and I had made the same point about "maverick" and have begun, with the help of friends, to construct a list of such terms--ones that, when applied to oneself, constitute strong evidence that "you're not one."


1. A maverick (important exception: NBA basketball players, who, if they say they are Mavericks, most likely are)

2. A raconteur

3. Not a racist

4. Not meaning to offend you

5. A crook


Any more, readers?

11 comments:

Sarah Bear said...

A mute.

Sarah Bear said...

I mean, if you call yourself one *out loud*.

Anonymous said...

Good enough, smart enough, and doggonnit, someone people like.

Fred said...

1. God's gift to women.
2. Exactly what you're looking for.

I suppose, though, that in the latter category, there may exist an elite group entitled to say such things.

Tim said...

1. Modest
2. Unremarkable
3. An iconoclast
4. An artist

jarends said...

Funny.

Erik_Simpson said...

I love this comment threads. A couple more from me:

1. avant-garde

2. an ideal candidate for the position you have advertised

In an email, Carolyn (my wife) writes,

"I'm a liar.

I'm also a radical. A local legend. A man of the people. A revelation. I'm just what you needed."

Anonymous said...

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
-Margaret Thatcher

Anonymous said...

A people person

Anonymous said...

a nice guy

Britt said...

Weird.