Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Categories into which you cannot put yourself

David Sedaris's charming little piece on undecided voters includes this line: "calling yourself a maverick is a sure sign that you’re not one." My wife and I had made the same point about "maverick" and have begun, with the help of friends, to construct a list of such terms--ones that, when applied to oneself, constitute strong evidence that "you're not one."


1. A maverick (important exception: NBA basketball players, who, if they say they are Mavericks, most likely are)

2. A raconteur

3. Not a racist

4. Not meaning to offend you

5. A crook


Any more, readers?

10 comments:

Sarah Bear said...

A mute.

Sarah Bear said...

I mean, if you call yourself one *out loud*.

Anonymous said...

Good enough, smart enough, and doggonnit, someone people like.

Fred said...

1. God's gift to women.
2. Exactly what you're looking for.

I suppose, though, that in the latter category, there may exist an elite group entitled to say such things.

Tim said...

1. Modest
2. Unremarkable
3. An iconoclast
4. An artist

Erik_Simpson said...

I love this comment threads. A couple more from me:

1. avant-garde

2. an ideal candidate for the position you have advertised

In an email, Carolyn (my wife) writes,

"I'm a liar.

I'm also a radical. A local legend. A man of the people. A revelation. I'm just what you needed."

Anonymous said...

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
-Margaret Thatcher

Anonymous said...

A people person

Anonymous said...

a nice guy

Anonymous said...

Weird.